Refuse to worry

"I've known many troubles big and small, but most of them never happened at all."

~ Mark Twain ~

Are you stressed today because you're worried about what's coming tomorrow? Maybe it's a dental appointment, fear of a relationship ending, or the knowledge that funding to buy important resources for a village may depend upon your report. It could even be something more positive, like preparing for a vacation! Most of the time worrying is worse than useless. If it was just useless it might not be that bad, but worrying hurts us. It saps us of joy and pushes aside the good things in life. Obviously, it's not possible to stop all worrying. If a loved one is in a car accident it would be very strange if you were worry-free while en-route to the hospital. The type of worrying we should work to control is needless worrying -- anxiety over possible future events that we cannot change, or that we have no strong evidence will ever occur.

Here are five simple things you can do to reduce the stress worrying causes:

• Identify exactly what you're worried about: Face it, describe it, clarify it. Writing or thinking out-loud about your worry as if it's a problem you plan to solve will give you a clear picture of that problem, and give you a certain sense of control that will help reduce your distress.
   

• Make two lists: First, list all of the things related to your worry which you can do something about. Then, list all the things which are completely out of your control. If it's a fear of public speaking your first list might include preparing well ahead of time. The second list might include whether the audience are well-rested enough to enable them to stay awake and alert.
   

• Brainstorm, research and learn: Are there big gaps in your knowledge about the problem? Are there question marks on your lists? Ask others for advice, link in with a support group, and use the internet to research. Many of the problems in life have been solved by others. You name it, there's information out there somewhere.
   

• Do something: This is key. Begin to follow through on ideas you came up with in steps 2 and 3. You might thoroughly prepare and practice your speech, or seek out opportunities to practice public speaking in settings you find less intimidating.

• Stop thinking of things that are out of your control: This is the hard one! If you're busy problem-solving and doing what you can to prevent the worst from happening, then the energy you spend worrying further is worse than useless.

Today, why not ... Think of one or two issues you're currently worried about, or things you often worry about, and write out answers to steps 1 and 2 above.

This month, why not ... Be aware of whether you are spending a lot of energy on unproductive worry. Follow through on the worry issues you have identified. If you're still having a lot of trouble with step 5, then brainstorm, research, and learn.

"When it rains, I let it."

~ 113 year old man in response to a question about the secret of his longevity ~

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